The light bulb
by supersmileys
Summary: ONESHOT. Hermione and Harry take Ron to the hardware store, so Ron can learn something incredibly difficult for the normal wizard....how to change a lightbulb.


Set after HBP, after its all over and Voldemort is defeated, and Hermione wants to teach Ron about being a muggle.

I do not own any of the characters or anything.

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"Ron, if we're going to make this work, you're going to have to understand my culture and background." Hermione said exasperatedly. 

Ron looked at her pleadingly. "But you're a witch! What more is there to understand?"

They were standing outside London's biggest muggle hardware store.

"I was also raised as a muggle, so you will need to learn how to _live_ as a muggle!" Hermione retorted. Harry looked annoyed.

"We just conquered Lord Voldemort, saved the wizarding world from doom and gloom, and the first thing you're worried about is making sure Ron can cope as muggle. Would you care to tell me _why_?!" A passer-by gave them a weird look.

Hermione ignored Harry's comment, and dragged her two best friends into the hardware shop. Ron's eyes widened as he saw all the power tools, barbecues, plumbing supplies, machine parts, and much more.

"_Wow_" he breathed, walking over to a bin filled with power drills, and picked one up to examine it. Harry was standing looking surly, arms crossed, his gaze fixed on the hammers.

Hermione was patiently talking Ron through the power drills.

"Now, if you pull this back, this thing will start to spin at a very high speed, so it's quite dangerous for children…and you." she finished, sighing as Ron gleefully started waving it about as the drill was going at full speed.

"RON, LOOK OUT!!" Hermione screamed as he nearly drilled through a man's face.

"ARGH!" cried the man, ducking as the drill narrowly missed his eye. Ron quickly dropped the drill to the ground, going a very deep shade of crimson. The drill cluttered to the floor, smashing into pieces very loudly (who knew drills would also break loudly?). The store went silent.

"Er...Hehe...I guess that lifetime guarantee on those drills is a sham, eh Hermione?" Ron laughed weakly. Hermione just closed her eyes with exasperation, and counted to ten in her head. Harry smirked.

"Hermione, you're the one who wanted to go out with him, you should have known that he was new to all this stuff! I can't believe you brought him to a hardware store first! Next time, start small, like with a linen shop."

"I suppose you saw this coming, did you?!" Hermione snapped at him. The other customers in the shop and Ron were watching them snipe at each other, still standing in all the smashed pieces of power drill.

"Hey, I'm no Professor Trelawney, but even I know that Ron and hardware stores are a bad combination, even in principle. Did he ever tell you he was a pyromaniac?"

Hermione just shook her head, seething, and then marched off to find the thing they were looking for in the first place. The other patrons in store all resumed their activities quickly after Hermione marched over to Aisle 3.

"Er-sorry mate." Ron apologized to the man he nearly killed. The man merely grunted, and scooted off. Harry rolled his eyes at Ron.

"Women. Can't admit they're wrong."

"What's a pyromaniac?" Ron asked interestedly.

Harry pointed to a man who was lighting matches that he'd just bought and leering at the small flames he'd just created.

"That's one there."

Ron looked horrified.

"I don't play with fire!"

Harry looked a little guilty.

"I know. I was just trying to make a scene."

Hermione stormed back with five light bulbs.

"Come on," she said through gritted teeth.

The three of them went up to the cash register to pay for the light bulbs.

"That'll be £70.50" The cashier said.

"Seventy pounds?! How much are those light bulbs?!" Hermione cried.

"They're three pounds each, ma'am, but this is also for the broken power drill."

Hermione flashed Ron a murderous look as she handed over her credit card.

"And that's a credit card. It's a card that you can buy anything with." Harry whispered to Ron, who grew up with no money in his childhood. Ron was outraged.

"Why do muggles get to have limitless money, and we wizards have to work for a living?!" Ron hissed to Hermione. Hermione took their purchases, and replied to him as they were walking out "If you buy something with a credit card, you have to pay the bank back for spending their money, and if you don't pay it back that month, then the next month they add a small percentage of that amount back, called interest, and it gets bigger and bigger if you don't pay it all back. Of course, that money doesn't just sit in a safe. You have an account that you _earn _interest on, and if you're lucky, you'll get an account that allows you to deposit cheques, and-are you even _listening_ to me?!"

Ron had pulled a light bulb out of its box, and was shaking it bemusedly.

"Huh?"

Hermione sighed.

"_Anyway_, these things provide light. They're powered by something called electricity, which could kill you if you play with it."

Ron put the bulb back in its box hastily. Harry hailed them a taxi, and they all climbed inside. Hermione told the driver where they were going, and they took off.

"I really underestimated muggles." Ron confided to Harry. "But they really must be smart to come up with such dangerous and complicated ideas!"

The cab driver looked in his rear view mirror. "What do you mean by the word muggles? Some new form of insult you kids came up with?"

"Uh, yes, except it's a compliment, like another word for genius." Hermione replied quickly.

They reached Hermione's parents house, which was a very flash apartment in the West End of London.

"You _live_ here?" Both Harry and Ron were shocked that their down-to-earth friend lived a life of a movie star. Hermione nodded curtly, and paid the driver.

They all climbed the front steps, and Hermione pulled them into a room with various dishwashers and washing machines.

There was a cylinder shaped tube sticking out of the cylinder.

"That's where the light bulb goes. You screw it in, and flip the switch, and _voila_! You have light!"

Ron looked warily at the fixture.

"Couldn't I die?"

"Only if you get electrocuted, mate, and Hermione's made sure you won't." Harry said cheerfully, patting his friend on the shoulder.

"How can I trust her?" Hermione's mouth dropped open in protest.

"I'm your girlfriend, as well as a muggle! Don't you think I would of got a professional in if there was a chance you could be killed?!"

She handed Ron the light bulb.

Ron looked at the light bulb, and then back to his friends.

"If I die, I want you to know that I actually thought You-know-who was worthy of winning Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award." He said solemnly.

Ron lifted his hand up to the light bulb fixture, and put the bulb in.

ZAP!!!

Ron was flung across the room, and landed on the floor, hair standing on end, unconscious.

"Hermione, you forgot to flip the switch back!" Harry yelled at her.

Hermione burst into tears and ran to her boyfriend's side.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Ron, I didn't check, you might be dead and it's all my fault!" she wailed.

Ding! The light bulb turned on in Harry's head.

"Let's make up a spell to heal him from electro-paralysis!"

Hermione looked up at him, eyes filled with tears.

"Okay," she whispered. She cleared her throat, pulled out her wand, and cried "_Electro revivus_!" and wished for the best.

Ron's eyes flickered, and he coughed.

"What happened?" he croaked.

"Hermione electrocuted you, but made up a spell which healed you!" Harry said, amazed. Ron gasped.

"We could make a fortune! You made up a spell which can heal electrocuted people!"

"Oh, yea, because lots of wizards get electrocuted." Hermione said sarcastically.

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